Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
