i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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