My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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