You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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