yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We got so high we made milksteak
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
