Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
