awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
