Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
