Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
