guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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