I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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