Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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