I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
