Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
