He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
