i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
