An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
