Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
