That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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