Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
vagina is talking i cant
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
