Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
