just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
