I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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