I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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