we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
