I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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