the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
