I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Randomize
