She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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