just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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