the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
