bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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