i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
