dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
