Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the condom got lost in my hair
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize