that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
