ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
