if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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