So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize