ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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