me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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