so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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