Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
