Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
