No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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