when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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