it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize