What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
