Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize