PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
