I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
