All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
