Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
