Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
