WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
