found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
