walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
